The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert (2013)

Rating: ⭐ Like your drunk uncle's monologue at Thanksgiving dinner, I kept waiting for The Signature of All Things to become more profound or even more interesting.

Sadly, it did not.

Great expectations abound for this book since it boasted tremendous endorsements by journalistic titans and is authored by the same woman who penned the widely renowned Eat, Pray, Love. Unfortunately, this book's slow decline into a letdown was certainly something to lament. There were only a small handful of elements I could appreciate in this 499-page book.

The book promises to be "radiant...a big, panoramic novel about life and love" and "the novel of a lifetime". It was voted as a Best Book of the Year by Time, The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The New Yorker, and The Washington Post.

Shockingly, I found it to be more about a painstaking study of moss, begrudging familial duty, and a middle-aged woman sulking in a moldy Tahitian hut. Rest assured, dear reader, I did my best to see whatever these endorsers were talking about; I could not. I cannot recommend this book unless you are a fan of Charles Dickens' prose and care a lot more about moss than I do. But, if you're curious what didn't land for me, do read on.

SPOILERS TO FOLLOW

SPOILERS BELOW

Overview:

This was a bewildering tale where we traversed the world with Alma Whittaker on her life's strange and somewhat pointless journey. What I took the biggest issue with, from a character development standpoint, was that she didn't seem to learn anything by the end of it all. I felt like Alma was who she's always been- morose, self-absorbed, and staunchly scientific. From 1800 to 1883, she did mostly the same things her entire life- study moss and complain about a lack of male companionship that she did little to correct.

Characters:

There were a few interesting characters in this novel, but unfortunately they were usually the ones we spent the least amount of time with. I'll save you some time; the only interesting characters are Retta, The Hiro Contingent, and Tomorrow Morning. As for the rest: Alma is bafflingly irritating for 500 pages, Prudence is self-righteous and frustrating, and Ambrose is missing a few marbles. (Strictly my personal opinion.)

Tomorrow Morning:

Yes, his name is Tomorrow Morning. As a character, he was written as a confidently enigmatic person. He was narcissistic and imposing but in the most gentle and unassuming way. He described himself as a conqueror, but was loved by literally everyone. With such a curious character dynamic, I wanted to know more about this guy, but his part in the story was fleeting. I wish it would have been expanded on.

The Hiro Contingent:

The most interesting group of characters was what Alma dubbed "the Hiro contingent— "a group of orphaned, feral ten-year-olds who spent their time throwing mud at each other, roasting various animals on spits, passing out in the sand every night, and traversing the island in endless play. It was hilarious imagining them confidently showing a 50-something white lady around the Tahitian jungle, pushing her up cliffs, and dutifully helping her search for the elusive man in Ambrose's sketches for several months. I honestly would have read a book about them.

Retta Snow:

Retta was also a flighty, fascinating character. She seemed like a beautiful person and I wanted to see more of the way she saw the world. As a young girl she was funny and full of life. She didn't seem to completely conform to society in the best way. But we didn't get a lot about her life as an adult. Retta quickly slipped into madness after her marriage to Prudence's secret love, George, and was left drooling in the mental hospital for the rest of the novel until her death. Her life was totally unremarkable and I think that did her a disservice.

Alma Whittaker:

Next, Gilbert spends several hundred pages discussing the bewildering life of her main character, Alma Whittaker. As a girl, she was raised for intellectual excellence with an immovable scientific mind. As a young woman, she makes an impromptu discovery of salacious books when sorting through the library and makes increasingly frantic trips to the book binding closet for 'personal exploration' (to put it politely). A lot of time was devoted to discussing this peculiar character trait. To be frank, it was uncomfortable to read about and felt unnecessary to her development. Then, in a single chapter, she suddenly went from a 20 year-old girl to a 48 year-old woman with seemingly nothing interesting to report for the last two decades of her life except an all-encompassing study on the mosses of North America. Seriously?

Alma is snubbed by love on a few occasions but then makes no effort to find a real life partner and is upset by this for the rest of the novel. She goes on a ridiculous quest to Tahiti to learn pointless answers about her dead, homosexual husband. There, she has every opportunity to learn and grow but does nothing important for several years. When she finally gets some unsurprising answers from Tomorrow Morning about Ambrose, she leaves for Amsterdam, writes a mammoth evolutionary theory she never publishes, and studies moss until the end of her days. Alma Whittaker does not grow or change. There were at least two separate moments where she realized something important about herself or life but sadly, it felt like Gilbert did nothing with those revelations and left her character to wither. There was so much missed opportunity to give Alma more life and dimension.

Ambrose Pike:

Alma's tragic husband was a strange character. He wished "to commune with angels" and see God in plants. Gentle and curious, Ambrose's mind fascinated Alma and she was interested in how he saw the world. Upon his physical rejection of her after their wedding however, Alma unceremoniously ships him off to Tahiti to perish alone. He was often described as a beautiful and delicate person who was always hurt by the harsh world that couldn't accept him. This proved to be true. Ambrose Pike was not meant for reality it seemed; he was a creature all his own and I really felt bad for him.

Prudence Whittaker:

The adopted daughter of Henry Whittaker, Prudence spend her whole adolescence trying to improve herself to be on par with Alma's fortuitous mind. She was usually described as possessing doll-like beauty, but because of the unwanted attention, she did her best to not show any emotion ever. She was cold, seemingly uncaring, and annoyingly self-righteous in her selfless ways. She gave up the man she loved in hopes that Alma could marry him, but that didn't work out so she spent her entire life with a wet-dish-towel of a husband where they chose to live in poverty in solidarity for the Abolitionist movement. Prudence showed cracks in her perfect image, but she read like a robot for most of the novel. I honestly wish we could have gotten more of her internal story, but that was a let-down too.

Notable Positives:

Gilbert's writing is lovely, striking, vivid, and pleasantly palatable. I did like the interesting settings we got to explore, those were refreshing and surprising. On several occasions, I found myself lulled into a tranquil traipsing through the author's carefully curated world. Only, the story was so bewildering at times, I would suddenly look up and wonder what on earth was the point of the last forty pages.

There were at least three really beautiful and/or powerful moments in the book that in the moment I really hoped were a turning point.

• The first is when Alma in her middle age realized she's been incredibly selfish and sheltered her whole life. It's a remarkable moment when there was every opportunity for character growth and I loved to see it, despite it being squandered.

• The next is a touching moment between Alma and Prudence where we see them love each other as sisters for the first and last moment of their lives. This too went nowhere but it was a touching scene.

• Finally, there was a powerful moment when Alma heroically bursts from the water, deciding to live intentionally and with purpose after being almost crushed by aggressive women playing a carnal game of ball. Still, nothing is done with this revelation, but I thought the powerful moment was worth mentioning.

The Ending:

The ending was neither interesting nor unexpected. Alma got old, she didn't die in the last pages, but it's understood she will very soon. She just rests with her face against an old tree and that's where we leave her. For real. That's it. As a reader, it felt very lackluster and didn't offer much of interest, especially after sticking with it for 499 pages.

Final Thoughts:

I would not recommend you read this book. It was irritating, long-winded, and I think the main message was well and truly lost on me. Elizabeth Gilbert's writing style is pretty, some of the characters were interesting, and the settings were lovingly built. Unfortunately, the plot itself and its exasperating main character were what really drug down something that I'd argue had good potential.